胡言鸟语

i hate those feelings
the nightmare seems to hunted me me again
these few days i keep on having the horrible dreams
being fired,
being terminated,
i trying hard keep myself relax
i try to apply
what had i learn in the Emotional Intelligence
but its seems that doesn't work on me

in my degree's life,
the lifestyle had changed a lot
at most,
say buhbye to the night activities
which i practice the most during my foundation's life,
spent most of my time in the library
due to the inflexible timetable,
the syllabus is looked like alien
but i still try to adopt on it,
going class and going home alone
since most of my friends took different courses,
had nobody for me to lean against
when i feel helpless....
The daily schedule
wake up>go to campus>lecture class>library>home>music>study>sleep

sometimes i remain silent
doesn't mean that i am EMO+ing,
is just that i found out somethings
that i need to re-consider it again,
just now i went out to the balcony
to let the wind shave on my face,
its really cold and make my mind clearer
but soon i realize that i
有点心凉

loneliness means nothing to me
its a bullshit
even though i know that
孤军作战的滋味不好受
but i forced to face it myself
fighting alone...
i still remember the motive
why i am staying alive here,
JEALOUSY seems to provide me momentum
to push up myself for granted,

i envy those who is handsome,
i envy those who is wealthy,
i envy those who can KaoBehKaoBu,
i like those who critic me,
i like those who look down on me,
i like those who is hurting me,
i would like to say Thanks Q to you all,
Thanks for defining my presence...


I feel shame and guilty on myself towards my friends,
really sorry for ignoring you,
hope that you won't mind and forgive me.....

********************I am separate STAR******************


Thanks to ChengPing Thanks for treating me
Next time for sure i will balas budi


Thanks to Waiyin
"lu em si tao nao kang kang... lu em si zi jiak bi tang...
mai an aneh bo song la~~
这是一首鼓励人的歌~ 不是用来踩自己的歌~"quote by WaiYin


P/S:下午去怡保 SALT！！I am COMING!!
P/S:下星期有两个mid term test,求佛ing

鸟自己

已经是半夜时分
我的眼睛还是睁开着
虽然是觉得身体好累

实在是没办法
明天的考试完全没有把握
什么pointer,random variable
还搞不清楚他们使用方法与用途
还在努力研究当中
（不要把我当成很厉害酱 我也是有付出代价的）

近来办事都有种力不从心的感觉
不知是否是自卑感在作祟
不过我是觉得
其实是我自己远远技不如人
不管我多努力的
想将自己安置在前列
不是我要好练
做人也需要自我要求的吧

人脉网络也不见得扩张
反而越见收窄
虽然目前CS里面有一个大族群
不过要我混在里面
对不起 我觉得很幸苦
除非真的到了需要我
见人说人话
见鬼说鬼话的时候才打算吧

我很害怕
我无法遵守承诺
我曾经对自己许诺
"在哪里跌倒 就在哪里爬起来"
这就是我存在的意义
要撑住啊～

*************************************************************************************

This post was coming out under the bombardment of music
my mind was stretching too much I guess
although I felt kinda tired but my brain still awake
and tomorrow will be my Programming Practical test again
I still in blank in mind
what is the usage of pointer, random variables
even i had spent a lot of time to do research on it
i still don't have any idea
but what to do?
this is what so called LAST MINUTE JOB!!!

Recently everything is not going fine
is it the feeling of inferiority?
or it's really proven that I'm so dumb
I'm trying hard to keep maintain myself in the front row
That's only minimum requirement for myself
I swear I also can't fulfill it~FFFFFTTTTTTTTTTWWWWWWWWWWW

Really feel pissed off to some of the gang in my stream also
I prefer to keep myself away instead of forcing myself to face it
U make me feel really BEH Song U KNOW??!!!!!

I still remember i had promised myself
before i entering UTAR
I told myself
"I should rise up at the place where i had fallen"
now i wonder whether
i still afford to keep my promise??
i don't wish
the FACE OF DISAPPOINTING
appear in front of me again!!!!

Could I??




The menu card with theme of "Halloween PARTY" by our group



"no confident" tend to be my weakness gua??
i look over confident??

P/S:2 more days will going to visit orphanage at Teluk Intan(期待）
P/S:for those who want to leave your friend away, go ahead

随便更新

这篇文来得其实有点迟了
都怪我最近有点懒散 课业又忙
(在找借口而已）

一个月的时间 世界杯也落幕了
恭喜西班牙夺杯
决赛当晚 我也有去凑热闹
（不过Skip了第二天的班。。啊！内疚！！）

世界杯的热潮 连女生也疯狂=。=
不过她们都是为了看帅哥（我不帅麽？？）
哈哈哈

************************************************************************************
再来是data communication mid term test
说好是Open Book Open Internet Open Neighbour
问题有够难 有够刁
连续两晚不眠不休也就为了它

Multiple Choices=Multiple Answers 问你死未？


请来Cisco的天兵也于事无补

改了试卷之后 还蛮失望的
尽了力的成果也不怎么样
分数一半都不到
一试就知斤两
伟权～ 呸
你真差劲！！
跟他们还有好长的一段距离
我不想掉队啊！！！！！


有时会埋怨为何没有其它选择
可是当你拥有很多选择 你的反应会是？？？
！@#￥%……&哈哈哈哈

P/S:我极度需要 "Core2 KUAT"的头脑
Say goodbye to the crazy life??